Do any of you mom’s out there have Leap Frog videos? Particularly the Math Circus one?
Well, if you do, you will recognize this line spoken by the number zero:
“I’m just a big nothing…always late!”
This line has been going through my mind quite a bit lately, probably because Jake has been asking to watch that video quite frequently, but I really started thinking about it this week especially.
This has not been an easy week.
Just a short breakdown:
Wedding out of town last weekend {which was lovely- saw many wonderful friends and laughed A LOT}
Arrive back to town with about 20 orders to be *GULP* sewn
Sewed all Sunday evening, Monday and Tuesday morning
Tuesday was my birthday….cried. A lot.
Tired and frustrated that I haven’t slept
I haven’t been out of the house for 3 days
And I’m very cranky- my kids probably hate me.
Dinner in Walnut Creek for my birhday.
I smiled.
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday
I finished sewing all my very, very late orders.
I did my best to get them all out on time.
But they didn’t make it.
And I had angry customers.
And I spent Saturday crying over
my angry customers, my husband who was gone for the day, my out of town family problems
and the fact that I rushed to the post office to mail off some items and the post office closed early.
The “Zero Complex” {thanks a lot Math Circus} was hitting me hard.
I ran into an elder in the church hallways yesterday {on my way to get my screaming baby from the nursery, mind you} and he aked me how I was. I told him fine. He asked how I really was and I told him how hard staying at home really is. Plus trying to start a business. And trying to maintain my ministry with the young people. And not to mention trying to stay sane between that.
He gave me a big smile, patted my shoulder and said, “Amy, I remember. My wife felt the same way. It’s not easy. But nothing in life is.”
I thanked him. It felt so good to have someone tell me they understood, that this was normal and that I wasn’t crazy for how I felt. I walked away thinking that it’s all about perspective. If I walked around all day burdened down by my “zero complex”, what kind of life do I expect to have? Life is hard period, so maybe I can help it out by have a better persepective on it.
So all day yesterday I rejoiced about my little kiddos and the mess they make. And my hoodie business that God has brought into my life. And my lack of sleep. And you know what? I saw all the good things like this:
Gobs of fresh roses just brought in from my garden
Jake having a “tea party” with my frozen chocolate chip cookie dough balls {how DID he get in the freezer, though?!?}
And potty training. We are hitting it hard core right now so we can put Jake in PreSchool starting in June. As you can tell from the mess and the look on his face, its going so-so.
But really, what I am trying to say through all this is…
Life is hard, frustrating, and sometimes unbearable. But it is also a wonderful and joyful time of living, loving and laughing. If you put God first, your family and THEN your life…you will notice that it’s not as bad you think it is.
I love you my blog friends. I can’t thank you enough for sharing this wonderful and interesting time with me. You all have made me smile, laugh hysterically and sometimes cry. Its a wonderful thing for a mom who doesn’t get out much. :) And I am praying for you all. I hope God blesses you and family above and beyond what you can possiblly think today.
We are in this together.
“…take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.” Ephesians 6:16

10 thoughts on “Zero

  1. 1
    Jill L says:

    Aww Amy my friend loved your blog on the Zero complex and perspective.. Whether you have one kid or 6 kids it sure can be crazy. Amen to the perspective. With God all things are possible. I love ya and just wanted to say that and you are doing such a fine job with all that God has given you:) I can so relate to every single wordddd!!! It is wonderful to hear someone else lol! Thanks.

  2. 2
    Mande says:

    Amy. I am sending you hugs and lots of love. You are one person- and you are a fantastic mom. If customers want to be ugly, shame on them. Unfortunately in business there are always going to be people you cannot please. Remember that, and even if you shipped them the day the order is placed- there will still be customers that are not happy- because they are not happy and want to find something wrong to complain about. I found that out the hard way when I started selling clothes on ebay. God loves you, your family loves you, and I along with the blogging crew here love you. Your roses are beautiful BTW.

  3. 3
    Jaime @ Like a Bubbling Brook says:

    I've been struggling with the zero complex, too.

    Blessed by your post… and my, what beautiful roses!


  4. 4
    Dear Lillie says:

    Ahhh – Amy! I totally understand! I wish I could write like you! You always put into words how I am feeling. No time to write now – am supposed to be packaging up orders but just wanted to say a quick and that I was thinking of you and that I am SOOOOOOOO jealous of your beautiful roses!

  5. 5
    Dear Lillie says:

    I meant to say "a quick hello" and that I was thinking of you. I think I forgot the hello =)

  6. 6
    Prencie says:

    Mande said it in a nutshell. I sit on pins and needles worried everytime I ship an order, not that I 2nd guess myself but i have met waaaayyy too many people out there that find anything to complain about something!!

    I'm sorry you cried so much on your birthday, good tears or sad tears? And you are so very lucky to have all that you have!! Especially you crazy little man!!

    P.S. I never got a chance to comment on how beautiful Evy's 1st birthday was!!! I love your touches of pink roses everywhere!! It was perfect!! Now I'm gonna have ta go plant me some roze bushes!!!! I LOVE having fresh flowers in the house!! It's amazing how something so small and simple will make your heart smile everytime you look at it:)

  7. 7
    Melanie says:


    You are doing an amazing job with your hoodies and with your family! I honestly don't know how you are able to do it ALL!! Everyone has overwhelming times in life, especially moms with young kids. I love the way you are able to express what we're all feeling from time to time! : ) Don't be hard on yourself…you're an incredible lady!

    Lots of hugs!

  8. 8
    Amy says:

    Thank you everyone for your support. It's so nice to know that you have friends who understand how you feel and love you anyway, hehe. :)

    And Prencie…my tears were sad tears. UGH. Seriously, I was just overtired and was dying for a getaway. Much better now though. :)

    And THANK YOU everyone for talking about the customer thing. That makes me feel so much better. I've been going to bed sick at night since I am so behind. :(

    Ok..the roses. Well, what I didn't say there is that my dad came over and CHOPPED all my rose bushes and beautiful lavendar bushes. WAAAAHHHH!!! big tears over that one. All those roses in front of my sink was every last one I had on my bushes. I came home from the store and found them all there. Never leave my dad with clippers, just an FYI. I'm hoping that they will grow in quickly as I love fresh roses. In fact I have them all in pots so if I ever move they can come with me haha.

    love you guys xoxo

  9. 9
    David Sowers / DASO Photo says:

    I feel you Amy, I've been having a lot of the same thoughts and its kind of nice to read that I'm not alone. God Bless You.

  10. 10
    Mrs.LifeAccounts says:

    ok, that's so stupid about ugly customers, where do people get the idea that it's appropriate to treat others like that! People have no manners these days! You've been in my prayers a lot lately, please don't let ugly people get to you or feel bad about orders being behind, the orders aren't behind, just getting done on a different timetable that you expected! You have a unique and wonderful product that these customers cannot get elsewhere, they can either sit there and wait their turn or not get their item at all! You only have so many hours in the day and can only do what you can do! I wish I were closer, I would totally snatch you up for an afternoon and take you out for some stress free girl time!

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