You Are Not Alone

I learned something when I was very young….women have ups and downs. I’m sure, if you are a girl and reading this, you understand what I mean, no explaination necessary. :)
But, since I seem to confess on my blog often and maintain a brutal streak of honestly, I wanted to write a  note on my feelings of late.
First, the new year has been difficult. There are some changes happening in my small little family. Really, nothting big, but a few changes none the less, and maybe its just me, but changes don’t really bode well with me. I get frustrated, depressed, and weepy. I tend to be a big weeper. ugh.
And during times like this, I start to feel ALONE. Really, really alone. I start feeling like I am the only one who struggles. That I am the only one feeling the way I do. I start getting frustrated with my husband, my kids, my friends, my family. And whether I like to admit it or not, they get the brunt of my frustrations.
Ever been there?
Well, I have. Sorry. I’m not perfect. So shoot me.
Over a span of the last couple of weeks I have been told, by people very close to me, some very hurtful things about myself. Things that I think were meant to help me, but really did just the opposite. Things that I am sure I needed to hear, but I wish I hadn’t. I know {or rather I think?} that when people see you frustrated, they want to give you advice hoping that it will push in one direction or another. But it doesn’t. Because even if their advice is right {and more than likely you had already figured it out on your own}, you often don’t know how to go about doing what they advise, leaving you more frustrated in the end.
I don’t know about you, but all I want to hear is…
“You are not alone, I understand.”
Wow, in that little phrase, a world of help comes, doesn’t it? Because when you hear that someone else understands and doesn’t mind holding your hand while you figure it all out, you feel so much strength. It gives you that room to grope your way through the darkness, maybe stumble a little, all the while that somebody is holding a little flashlight of hope for you.
You are not alone is a powerful phrase.
So yesterday, at Ladies Day, I sat in the back, thanks to my feverish baby that I left at home, and looked around at all the precious ladies there. I wondered, as I watched some of them lead worship and speak, do they EVER feel as frustrated as me? Do they understand? Am I that much of a loser that I can’t seem to…
Pray as long as like
Read my Bible as much as I should
{these are two things I am most frustrated with myself about}
Keep my house clean
Pay my bills on time, despite the fact that we have the money
Remember doctors appointments
Listen to my voicemail and call people back
Be on time, no matter how much I try
Communicate properly
Love unconditionally
Am I the only one, who struggles?
And then the speaker, precious Donna Linville, got up. Oh how I love her! She stood there in the pulpit and laughed. Maybe not what every speaker should do, but she laughed at herself and her mistakes. She told us not to take life so seriously. And then she said what I needed to hear…
 ”You are not alone.”
I sat in the back row and cried {told you, weeper!}. Thank you God. I needed to hear that. I am not the only one. Her simple words made my day and gave the hope that things will get better. That these little bumps in the road are normal and will come and go. And that I will MAKE IT. That’s all I wanted to hear.
So to my wonderful friends who take the time to actually read all my extremely longwinded ramblings- I want you to know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  We are in this together. And I hope and pray that someday, if you ever need it, I can speak that simple phrase to you. Not give you endless, unhelpful {althougth maybe intended to be otherwise} advice, but just offer you the grace to struggle and the time to work it out.
And thank you Lord for being there. Ultimately, whether people understand me or not, I know YOU will never LEAVE me or FORSAKE me. As the New Living Translation puts it:
“I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” Hebrews 13:5
Thank you, Lord, you are my strength.

16 thoughts on “You Are Not Alone

  1. 1
    SoShawna says:

    Oohhhh…so many times I feel this way and feel stupid for my thoughts. I have pity parties; I'm an ocean away from my family and some of my dearest friends. I have issues to deal with: tight living quarters, a son on the autism spectrum, tight money issues, etc. The list can go on, can't it? But THANK GOD for friends here, and for friends on Facebook/email/cell phone. Thank GOD for you, Amy, because we can talk to each other without judgment or ridicule, no matter what our conversation is about or how often it gets interrupted by a kid. SIGH….I love you, thank you for your friendship, and thank you for this blog today. You are not alone. I understand.

  2. 2
    Regina M. says:

    Thank you Amy for your honesty, which is why I love your blog and you!
    I could deeply relate to everything that you've said. Lately I've gone through so many changes that I've honestly sat back and felt so disconnected to everything and everyone because of thinking I was alone. A feeling that I'm slowly starting to realize everyone goes through at some point.
    Because of your blog I now know that I am not alone. =) Thank You!

  3. 3
    Belle Dezines says:

    Okay so I really wanted to go to Landmark as I do every year, but we just couldn't afford it…but boy did I need to hear that. I've had such lows since Luke was born four months ago. Every morning I hope that I'll get up extra early so I can pray and read the word but all I do is pray a small prayer just as the baby and the hubby are waking up. I feel like no one understands, then on top of it my husband (ever so thoughtful :))volunteered us for nursery ministry. It's the only time during the week that I get to see adults…but I have to believe Gods got a purpose for me. All this week I've been telling him how alone I feel, not because of him or the kids, but, well I think you feel me. Anyway if there was ever a time I needed to hear that I am not alone this was it. So thanks Amy, thank you for going to Ladies Landmark for me…standing in the gap and receiving not just for yourself but for me. I know we weren't close friends in Bible College but somehow I feel really close to you now and I am grateful!!! Rebecca Brito-Bayne

  4. 4
    cheyenne says:

    very nice! i have gotten so many emails and phone calls in response to my blog post. so many women are feeling lost and alone. It so important for us to be open and transparent so people do realize that we are all going through a roller coaster life together! that we can help each other out!

  5. 5
    Us Four & No More says:

    Ames, I totally relate to this post.
    Your statement of how you take it out on others… Yeah, thats been me the past few days. (I have made several public apologies to my little family)…

    I kick myself when I am depressed -thinking "why can't you just get it together?" and well, that makes it all the worse.
    Truth is – I can't get it together sometimes… And its so nice to hear… I AM NOT ALONE!

    Love you

  6. 6
    Jenni says:

    ugh – needed to hear this one today, been struggling all week, let me just tell you, that was pretty powerful.

    i have been really emotional lately too (no, i am NOT pregnant, that would be impossible) but i have really been struggling with big decisions lately, and i feel like i have been pretty alone in finding the answer. before you even said that you started to cry after hearing the speaker, i got big huge tears in my eyes (see…emotional!) and it was almost like i was right there with you.

    thank you for this post, you are so right, we are not alone.

    now if we only lived closer to each other :)

  7. 7
    Joanie says:

    Your clarity delivered transparency. Sure, you vented some frustration, and lowered your guard, but thanks for sharing YOU!! You have a wonderful heart!!

  8. 8
    Mand says:

    Thank you Amy….this post is just what I needed to see this morning. It has been a really difficult week for me. I do not think I have ever felt this down before….and then I read this and know that there are women all over this beautiful country feeling this same feeling once in awhile. Thank you for being you. The beautiful person you are- I am thankful for your friendship.

  9. 9
    Mrs.LifeAccounts says:

    what a wonderful post…you write so beautifully! whle I may not have kids, our lifestyle currently brings change daily and things can get all topsy turvey in a blink of an eye…

    We've tried to get connected with ministries but it has been VERY hard to find other christian young people even close to our age. We end up feeling isolated and it can be hard sometimes not to take out our frustrations on each other. *sigh* I could go on and on but just know, I can relate! You'll be in my prayers (and I know I need to get back to your email-my inbox is bursting at the seams right now!)

    left you a little award on my blog!

  10. 10
    atozwireless says:

    Thanks Amy! Wow, didn't realize that so many other ladies are feeling the same thing. I, too was priveleged to enjoy Ladies Day, and was strengthened by it. Sometimes it really does seem like we are alone, and change is always difficult. I am so glad I met you, you seem like exactly the kind of person I would like to get to know better!! Thanks again for your heartfelt, transparent blog, we ALL need to hear that we are not alone!!

  11. 11
    Emily says:

    Wow what a journey thing called life is, huh? I have a hard time living in the moment – I'm always looking to the next day, or the next task…so much so that I miss what I am supposed to learn at that specific moment. I just started reading your blog, and you should know that your honesty and willingness to address REAL issues has helped me to take a moment to live in the moment. Thank you!!!
    I have felt alone sooo many times so, "You are not alone. I understand."

  12. 12
    Amy says:

    Wow! I can't tell you how much all your comments have meant to me. I really debated about writing that post because even though I heard the opposite at the ladies day, I do feel like maybe I am the only one who feels this way. So thank you, my dear friends, for being there and confirming that I'm not a loser. :)

    I spent some time and prayed for all of you last night and this morning. I know how much prayer can change things and I prayed that God would give us all the strength navigate through life's ups and downs.

    I prayed especially for Janelle, because of your text, hehe… and Jenni, because I know where you are at girl, you're facing some big decisions and I really truly understand those feelings of uncertainity.

    love you all so much. Thank you for being my friends.

    Oh yes, you all should go, if you haven't already, and check out my friend Cheyenne's blog. She's the one who commented above. Her first post was so moving. Love you Cheyenne and so glad you are blogging! xoxo

  13. 13
    Martha says:

    Amy, thanks for your post. It was just what I needed to "hear". Being a stay at home mommy is wonderful and I wouldn't change it for the world but it does have it's lonely moments. (Especially when your hubby keeps odd work and school hours, but you know all about that!) It's nice to know that I am not alone and neither are you. Love you my friend!

  14. 14
    jacobandmandy says:

    I just got caught up on your blog.

    This is exactly what I needed to hear. Right now.

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

  15. 15
    Monica Hassas says:

    Amy – This was such an awesome post. I can't tell you how many times I felt this way EXACTLY. Love you to pieces! Thank you for being so honest and true.

  16. 16

    I do not know you….just stopped by on a lark….but I DO know you:

    Pray as long as like
    Read my Bible as much as I should
    {these are two things I am most frustrated with myself about}
    Keep my house clean
    Pay my bills on time, despite the fact that we have the money
    Remember doctors appointments
    Listen to my voicemail and call people back
    Be on time, no matter how much I try
    Communicate properly
    Love unconditionally
    Am I the only one, who struggles?

    And I am here to say thank you for letting me know I am not alone. These little things above…they become so huge when you think you are the only one who is this kind of a particular mess, what ever it may be. We have a lot in common. Yep. It appears you are not alone.

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