I Had No Idea…

…that five years ago my life would change forever. No idea. Five years ago today, my baby boy came into my life. And I have never looked at things the same since.

You see, I never was a “kid” person. I didn’t baby sit {well, I did once, but the baby screamed the entire time and when they asked me back a second time, I forgot to show up. You can imagine they never asked me again. Right, definitely not baby sitter type material. ha}, and I never asked to hold people’s babies. Ever. I just wasn’t interested. In fact, I basically had to talk myself into starting a family…I was turning 30 and I knew if I wanted more than one, it was now or never. So, we got pregnant.

But I had no idea how much it would change my life. When the Dr handed me that screaming baby after a very traumatic labor and near C-section {I delivered him on the operating table…he had a cord wrap and I was being prepped for a C-section when his heart rate evened out and I miraculously dilated to from a 7 to a 10 in 15 mins} something happened to me. I had never, NEVER, EVER, felt that way before. Never. I fell madly in love with that baby. And I haven’t stopped loving him since.

I have always said, I wish there was some way to prep yourself for having a baby. Don’t get me wrong, you can read all the books, talk to all the right people, attend all the right classes, but nobody can ever explain that mother instinct that comes over you while you lay there after birth. There is just nothing like it. I remember on my second night at the hospital, someone set off the alarms by getting too close to a door with their baby’s ankle alarm on…and the sirens starting going off, “Code Blue in Maternity” was shouted over the loud speaker, and nurses frantically started counted babies. I laid there in my little hospital gown clutching Jake and thought, “Dear God if anyone tries to steal this baby I will drop kick them right here and now, with my buns hanging out of this hospital gown…yes I will.”

The materinal instict is that strong.

Well, tonight, on the eve of celebrating my dear baby boy’s 5th birthday, I feel that instinct again. I am sitting in my bed, while my precious boy lays on the floor wrapped in whatever clean blankets I can find. In between groans and “This is absolutely terrible, Mommy!”…I rub his back as his throws up in the nearby pot, and put a cool wash cloth on his face when he is done. What a way to ring in a birthday. And what a way to remind you how much your love your babies.

Tomorrow was supposed to go a little differently…We ordered cupcakes and had a date at 8:30 with his class for a little class party. After we celebrated, I was to hop on the airporter that would take me SFO so I could join Brandon at Because of the Times, a conference for ministers and their wives in Louisiana. At this point, me joining Brandon looks a bit unlikely. I am feeling horrible about this.

See, God was so good and gave us tickets to get there, a place to stay for free, and a cheap rental car. When Brandon told me about this, I excitedly said, “Book the trip!” If you read this post, then you know what a miracle that is for me to say that… I absolutely do not like Conferences. Sorry, but its true. But we had never been to this one and always wanted to go. Brandon was SO excited to say the least. I literally NEVER travel with him, so for me to go to this was big for him. He booked the trip and casually glanced at the calendar. I had no idea it would fall on Jake’s birthday. None. My heart sank.

I made a promise a while back, after missing Evy’s 2nd birthday do to a trade show, that I would never do that ever again. Especially once the kids got in school and they knew it was their birthday. Neither us really realized the dates conicied, unfortunately. So Brandon changed my ticket for me to be able to take cupcakes to Jake’s class, and then I could join him. But it looks like I won’t be going at all now. ugh.

Yes, I had no idea. None, whatsoever. But I’m glad I didn’t. Because it wouldn’t matter. I wouldn’t trade one second of a minute of it, its that special. I would give whatever I could to my babies. They are that amazing.

And now, I really see, Christ’s love for us. A Father’s love for His children. I see it. I get it. It’s simply unbelievable.

I love you baby boy. Thank you for changing my lift 5 years ago. Get better. And happy birthday!

17 thoughts on “I Had No Idea…

  1. 1
    SoShawna says:

    Happy Birthday Jake! You’re an awesome boy. You must get it from your parents.

  2. 2
    marlana says:

    Happy birthday Jake!!! Feel better soon!

  3. 3
    Tara says:

    Awww….poor baby. Hope he is up to celebrating a belated birthday. He’ll only be 5 once..BOTT 2013! ;-)

  4. 4
    De-Lila says:

    Amy, I love reading your blog. It’s my favorite one. I always end up crying. Ha ha. Tonight I was already emotional cause Kai pulled herself up to sit, Rescues hair got chopped, and Hero told me Jesus visits him at night and they go outside and plant flowers… Then… I read this. I’m a hot mess now. Haha. I hate that kids grow up so fast. Your little man is amazing. He is the funniest thing ever. You are so blessed to have such sweet little beings.

    • 4.1
      evystree says:

      Thank you De-Lila! You are always AWESOME! I so understand how you feel! Hang in there, we’re all in this together! xoxo

  5. 5
    Denissa says:

    Awe poor lil guy, and on his bday?? I completely know that crazy love that comes over you when you hold that new sweet baby! And I totally agree with how it gives us just a glimpse of Christ’s love for us! :)

  6. 6
    Teisha Earl says:

    I’ve the worst memory! I’ve had a notebook/planner for years…I really never understand what I might do without the need of it!

  7. 7

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  8. 8

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  9. 9

    My mother used to give me the exact same advice

  10. 10

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  11. 11

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