Disappointments

I’ve had a few disappointments lately. I thought, since I haven’t really had a “heart post” lately, I’d tell you about them. Or not really ABOUT them, per se, since they are very personal, but about how I am feeling about them, I guess.

You know, I am normally very open and honest on this blog. Very transparent. No, I don’t tell you everything, but I don’t hide from much either. And sure there are times when I probably make things sound like they are ok, but they really aren’t…because who really wants to hear a person’s junk all the time? Lately I’ve been questioning the point of really telling you how I feel. For many reasons, I guess. Recently, twice in the same week I had people on social media criticize me for “complaining”. One even said, “I can think of worse things”. Hmm. So could I. But those worse things aren’t happening to me. THIS is. And this is hard. It hurts. And yes, I’m not stupid. I understand there could be A LOT worse things. A gazillion worse things. But let’s be honest…disappointment is disappointment. No matter what the magnitude. And it hurts, big or little.

So I’m leery of sharing.

Since I haven’t been sharing too much about feelings, I’ve filled the gap with food, shop and house posts. BUT….the last couple days the Lord has dealt with me about this.  Because this blog isn’t really about my house, or my business, or my food…it’s about LIFE. And life stinks sometimes. It does. It really, really stinks. Life is good the majority of the time. And we’re all VERY good about telling about the good, right? We show off our new homes, our new cars, our new clothes. We brag about our beautiful kids {oh my word, I adore my kids, I could go on and on}. We tell about all our blessings…and we SHOULD. Because blessings are fun, and exciting and a testimony of God’s love. But the stinky part of life…well, it’s hard to talk about.

One thing I have noticed is this…when you are going through a hard time, it is SO HARD to rejoice with them who rejoice. Sometimes, instead of clapping your hands, smiling and congratulating, you want to turn your nose up in disgust and walk away because your blessing is no where to be found. Let’s talk about this…it’s truth, am I right?

And sometimes, it’s really easy to look at someone else who seemingly has an “easy” problem, shake your head at them, roll your eyes, and say, “it could be worse”. I know. Because I’ve done it. Many times in fact. To people I love. I get it.

So what’s my point….

Well, I’ve had some disappointments the last couple weeks. I’m not going to tell you too much about them, because I try not to dwell on things that I know God can change…but there have been some big things that I have sat down and said, “WHY GOD?!? I thought you promised me this?” And there has been a lot of questioning…of me, my family, my purpose. Everything. Questioning where I am, what I’m doing. Questioning.

Like Job.

And then it hit me. We are going to question. We are going to wonder why. We are going to  feel moments of disappointment. On both big and small scales. But I want you and the whole world to hear me shout:

I AM STILL HERE. 

I’m putting on my boxing gloves and I’m going to do this. Because disappointment doesn’t have to be crippling. It can be empowering. It can fuel the fight. So even though I look back and wish I hadn’t done this, or I had done that…it doesn’t matter. Because I’m HERE and I’m not backing down. I’ve got God on my side and I will finish this race. Family problems, money problems, job issues, kid issues, health issues, LIFE issues….it doesn’t matter. Disappointment in all those areas may come, but I’ve got my gloves on. And I’m fighting. I hope you are too.

And just a little 411…you may hear me “complain” on this blog. But let me make this perfectly clear and set the record straight… VENTING is not always COMPLAINING. Complaining is laying down and thinking there is no way up. Venting is getting your frustration off your chest and then rising to the occasion. So I’m not sure where you place yourself here, but I place myself in the venting category. Because, I personally feel, we all need to do it, perhaps not publicly like I am doing…but this blog is a place where I feel God has opened a door for me to reach out to those of you who are feeling frustrated too. With that said, I also feel God has called me to share HOPE. And that’s what I will keep doing. I will keep sharing my venting {minimally of course} and most of all…sharing HOPE. Because we have it. Yes we do. In the words of Toby Mac

“We lose our way,
We get back up again
It’s never too late to get back up again,
One day you will shine again,
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever,
Lose our way,
We get back up again,
So get up, get up,
You gonna shine again,
Never too late to get back up again,
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever”

{HERE}

Love you friends. I’m praying for you. Psalm 102 has been what I am meditating on. Amazing and powerful. Take time to read if you are feeling some disappointments. “You will arise and have compassion….” {vs 13}. POWERFUL.

xoxo

Oh PS. Did you see this?

22 thoughts on “Disappointments

  1. 1
    Catherine Castelli says:

    Loved this Amy! Thanks for sharing and keeping it as real as possible. We are still here, and God will keep us as long as he needs us here. Keep your head up and your heart open!

  2. 2
    Susan Sullivan says:

    Oh Amy….. this touched my heart so much!!!! I hope that I have never said anything that hurt you – I appreciate you transparency. And YES – there is a HUGE difference in complaining and venting !!!!!! I have no idea what you have been going through – but I pray that Jesus blesses you in a VERY special way today! Sometimes, if we don’t vocalize and vent, it is almost impossible to get up and rise tot he occasion. You are very Godly in the way that you let off steam – :) And you always give hope!!!

    I love you!
    Susan

  3. 3
    Eva says:

    This is so good! I have a friend who could use this encouragement right now! Thank you!

  4. 4
    ashley says:

    Beautifully said! This post is real,& so relatable!I know that as a new mother,I read blogs & often feel a sense of inadequacy seeing all these great things they accomplish &I rejoice in their success as well. However ,I love posts like what you just posted! Its real. Your honest. I love that. Especially from someone running a business. I recently came across quote I LOVE. “create a life that doesn’t just look good on the outside, create a create life that feels good on the inside too.” Keep on being awesome! Thank you!

  5. 5
    Fawn says:

    I never comment, but felt inclined to today. You are so right about the difference in complaining and venting. This is your blog and those who are seeing it as complaining have the option to skip reading it and move on. Please ignore those negative people and vent and do what you need to do. Thank you for being you!

  6. 6
    Amber says:

    You are such a source of encouragement to me. When I get your emails I know that I can click on the link and see whatever you are talking about that day without feeling bad about myself. Seriously, as a small business owner navigating a very un-charted way, is difficult. Especially when you go to other small business owners sites and they portray this perfect life, and family, and business. I totally feel like such a loser for having moments when I am overwhelmed, my house, my life, my schedule, isn’t perfect. But I know Evy’s Tree isn’t going to make me feel that way. I know you don’t tell us everything, but I never think you are complaining. When I see your posts I oddly don’t feel alone. You are so real and I treasure that.

  7. 7
    Jen Jellison says:

    Hey Amy! I came upon your shops FB page through a friend and saw this blog in my newsfeed. I love this!! It spoke right to where I have been lately so thanks for posting/sharing.

    Jen

  8. 8
    ASHLY says:

    THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Never stop being transparent. Even though people may criticize you, there are far more that are supporting you-LIKE ME! :) I needed to hear your blog today. I have been going through similar disappointment and I feel less alone knowing that you are going through it as well. Thank you Thank you Thank you.

  9. 9
    Bernice..... says:

    Venting is not always complaing….to vent is to open and let out your feelings , your thoughts out …. Some time the “load ” is a little heavy and we vent ( not complain ) and others will come in ( your friends ) with words of incouragement….. And at the same time , it lets others , who are traveling , the same road, know that there are bumps in this road and that ” Joy comes in the morning “…

  10. 10

    Thanks Amy!! I too have cried out my burden in the past by VENTING but I faced loss of friends instead of encouragement. That was when I found out who my true friends were! Thank you for sharing and being real. Yes, life is hard sometimes but God allows it to refine us. I can truly say that my potters wheel softened the rough edges and God did a great work during my time on the wheel! Love you and yes, it’s all about how you handle disappointments. Dr Jeffers spike on Disappointment at CLC during college day sessions. I treasure that CD. It really helped me. Know that this season will soon be over!! There is joy around the corner!

  11. 11
    Linda says:

    Amy, I read this then had to read it twice then three times. I appreciate every single word spoken from your heart. I’m filled with emotions while I write this. A while back I had “Vented” (posted) things regarding negative situations occurring in my life. Til this day my insecurities and comments have lead me to believe that my charter is being judged. Since then I have kept my words minimum. But by doing so I feel I’m not being true to myself. Your words are changing my mind about things I have felt towards myself. Thanks Amy I love you!

  12. 12
    MELANIE says:

    Thank you so much for opening up you heart. I am going through some things as well and it’s nice to know that someone else has the same
    questions and feelings. We are alleged vessels to be used at Gods will . Thank you for allowing him to use you to touch me. My prayers are with you.Please lift me up in yours as well.

  13. 13
    Stacey M. says:

    Beautifully written and oh so true! I LOVE your blog!!!!!!!
    Love u cuz!

  14. 14
    Maricela says:

    Thank you Amy. Period.

  15. 15
    Jami M. =) says:

    Yes, Sis. Amy, we all do have disappointmens and go through valleys. One’s valley may not be as deep as another’s, but when you’re in that valley, you’re still not on the mountain. One thing I’ve learned is that no matter how big or small it seems, if it matters to us, it matters to God. I’m so thankful that He IS a personal God, and doesn’t scold me when I get discouraged over “little” things. Yes, everyone should be able to vent, and then let it go. Complaining is setting up tent in that valley and camping there. I’m sure the Lord will quicken your friend about this, because, again, if it matters to you, it matters to Him. And honestly, if you spend a whole week venting, (or complaining), YOU’RE A WOMAN, and personally, I feel we women should have at least one week of the month to have our meltdowns. (Of course, that’s just me.)
    One more thing, if the devil ain’t bothering us, then we’re doing something wrong. Just HI-YAH the enemy right in the eye, and remind him that God ALWAYS fulfills what He has promised to us.
    Praying for all!

  16. 16
    Lori Ann says:

    Hang in there! I do believe that when we just let God unfold what is right for each one of us (very individual!) it is always more amazing than we might have thought we wanted/needed/expected/deserved. There is a master plan – we are all loved by God and nobody is left out though we might all receive different blessings. Be patient, be calm, heal.

  17. 17
    Leah says:

    Amy,
    Thank you so much for stating perfectly how I so often feel. I know it could be worse, for ALL of us…. at times, I am guilty of feeling sorry for myself (and in comparison to others, my issues are really so petty). Thank you for being real and always staying true to yourself.

    Love you!

  18. 18
    Aida says:

    Thanks Amy I love your blog and your honesty and how your ups and downs are used to encourage others!. Keep sharing your heart it’s helping others remember that :). Will keep you and your family in my prayers .

  19. 19
    Eileen says:

    oh baby! you are so not alone! and yes, it’s great to see the happy-go-lucky bloggers who seem to have nothing but sunshine and perfection in every corner of their life. they make for great pinterest hits but the reason we all follow your blog is because you are real!! you might be scared to admit that your upset or frustrated or even angry, but you do it anyway and that’s why we all love you so much! (at least that’s why I do… you don’t air all your dirty laundry on the blog, clearly, since posts like this are few and far between… but you are sweet and inspiring and awesome! Thanks for sharing HOPE with the rest of us and keep fighting the good fight :) In the words of my fiance, “It’ll all work out in the end. If it’s not ok, than it’s not the end.” Keep your head up girl!!

  20. 20
    Rachel Villalobos says:

    Though we get discouraged we know God has us in the palm of His hand! If we can find the courage to rise up again and to put our trust in Him knowing All things work for the good to those who love Him and that if He if for us no one can stand against us we will always come out the VICTOR! God Bless you for sharing your heart!

  21. 21
    Audrey says:

    Well said. Life can definitely be messy & disappointing. I believe that when we question it is actually a sign of faith. If we didn’t believe in GOD and HIS promises then why would we have hoped for more? Should we constantly be in despair? No! Because we are children of the Most High & HE is still Almighty. Yet, HE asks us to be authentic and honest. It takes more courage to be open in the mess than it does when all goes well. {in my humble opinion} :) Love you & know that GOD uses you to minister to many.

  22. 22

    Using a public platform to “call out” one of your friends who was simply trying to get you to look at the brighter side of things really boggles my mind. When one’s self-worth and self-estimation are too full it can quickly form a fog of deception in our lives (I’ve been there) but you are so blessed Amy. I won’t even begin to claim that I know your daily struggles, your shortcomings or very much about your life…but when someone offers you a small insight hoping that it would give you a peak through the cloud, accept it and meditate on it. Be thankful for the blessings, the comfort, a great dude by your side, healthy children and a thriving business. Don’t be the kid crying over the brand new bike that was “not exactly the color they wanted”. My humble thoughts. We love the Miraflor family.

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