So, ok, I know Evy’s Tree has been completely absent lately as far as blogging is concerned. Today is supposed to be What We Wore Wednesday, but obviously, that didn’t happen…oops! The good news is: the main reason we have gotten behind is because we switched from blogger to WordPress {what do you think?!?}, the bad news is: we could have resumed the blogging a while back, but unfortunately, life has been pretty hectic over here.
First of all, we are washing, folding, cutting all our fall material. It’s been a mad house over here. Our little factory has been explosive and most of the time Sarah, Jen and I can’t even find the computer. 
So sad. Today Sarah and our new helper Lisa came finally finished most of the cutting so we can now see the floor, THANK GOD.
And then there’s my family….If you follow my personal blog, you may have already heard about the change in my family life, but if you haven’t, well, there’s been a switch in my husband’s job. Basically, life has changed quite a bit for us. It’s a good change and one we feel God has directed us to take, but its a big change none-the-less. He has always been around to help out, but now, he’ll be gone A LOT.
I don’t normally talk a whole lot about my family on the Evy’s Tree blog- hence my family blog – but I’ve been feeling an honest streak coming on. If you read my family blog, you know I’m pretty honest {unfortunately, ha} and you will know I’m not afraid to expose some of my insecurities and frustrations with life. So are you ready to hear my heart a little?
I am asked often, “How do you do it all?”. I’ve been especially getting that a lot lately due to Brandon’s job change. The question actually makes me laugh a little, because I’m not really sure what they mean? I assume they are most likely wondering how I run a home business and balance a family. It’s hard for me to digest the questioning because I honestly feel that what I do is really no different than what any other working mother does. I get the kids ready, take them to the sitter, go to work, cook dinner, etc. See, the same as everyone else, right?
But it’s not, and deep down inside I know that.
I know I have bit off a much bigger bite than most jobs when I started Evy’s Tree. And I don’t mean working for yourself is better than working for someone else{ in fact, I question it OFTEN, ha}. What I mean is that working for yourself is often a bit more demanding {and sometimes less rewarding} then working for someone else. You see, I worked for someone else once…I was a 4th grade public school teacher for six years before I had Jake and decided to stay home. But even though teaching is very emotionally demanding and you often bring lots of work home to do on the side, there is always someone higher than you to pass the crud on whenever it was needed. Despite budget cuts, layoffs, etc, you got paid regularly and had benefits. Boy I miss that. But when you work for yourself..the buck stops with you. That’s hard. Really hard.
With most jobs you get vacations {often paid for}, perhaps benefits, set hours, a boss, a schedule. When you run your own business, you get maybe one {or two} of those perks…if you are lucky. Vacations? Right, there’s no such thing as paid vacations. Benefits? Set hours? HA! Nope. Very rarely.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I am very glad I do what I do. And working for yourself definitely has it’s perks. But it definitely is not easy. I don’t sit around all day eating bonbons, as my dad would say {or chocolate chip cookies in my case, ha!}. But how does all this self employment fit in with a family? Especially when you are a mother and raising two very active young children? How does it all balance?
I have no idea. Seriously.
I can tell you what I do. I can tell you how I attempt to keep my head above water. But I can’t say I am very good at it. And I most definitely don’t have all the answers. I am struggling. Probably just like you are, if you are working mom, regardless as to whether you own your own business or not.
Can I be honest? {I know, I already have been, ha!} I struggle so much with dissatisfaction and insecurity sometimes. The best advice I can give anyone I know who is running a home business {or working at all for that matter} is: keep your head in the sand and when you come up for air, don’t compare!! But its so hard not to do…. I know of some very successful young women without families who have online shops. When I look at myself and compare my business to theirs {GASP, yes I do that every now and then, God forgive me}, I get so, so discouraged. They have GOBS of blog, twitter, facebook followers. Their goods FLY off their virtual shelves. They can work as late or early as they want. Push themselves as much as they like. They are very successful. And they should be. They are young and…brace yourselves for it: KIDLESS.
Yikes. Did I just say that?!? Yes, I did. Don’t get me wrong, this is NOT a slam on kidless entrepreneurs, AT ALL! This is just to point out that us moms, well, we have to remember we are in a different category. Our life is not our own like it once was pre-kids. We don’t have time to focus completely on ourselves {bummer, huh? ha}. Kids add a whole new mix into your world. And, I think, for the better. I honestly am so thankful for my kids. They make my life HAPPY. I would DIE without those two. They are so very wonderful, precious, loveable…DEMANDING. And I am so very blessed to be their mommy. I wouldn’t trade ANYTHING for them. NOTHING. Not even Evy’s Tree.
So the bottom line is: I’m ok with life being a little crazy and unbalanced. I’m ok with maybe not being as successful as I would like. Somedays Evy’s Tree dominates my life, and other days my family does. It’s definitely a see saw type of world for me. And that’s ok. Very ok. Because someday I will look back and realize my kids are only young once….money will come and go, start up businesses will always be there, but my family will only be here for a while. They need me, NOW. And I don’t want to miss it, you know?
So my key in finding balance between family and business, for Moms or non moms alike? Put your family first. Business will naturally follow…and be successful because of your sacrifice. Time with your family is never wasted. I am trying so hard to remember this right now while wading through the throngs of a business start up.
Unfortunately I have by no means achieved this balance. I do fight for it though. Eventually, I will get there…I hope. And I really have not achieved success as a business owner either. Evy’s Tree is still on shaky legs as we grow. But regardless of what happens to Evy’s Tree in the future, I MUST find balance. Because if this doesn’t work, I will have do something else and I will still fight for balance then….So you want to know how I do what I do? How I ATTEMPT {key word here} to keep my life balanced? Here are 10 things I TRY {key word here AGAIN..I am still a long ways away from achieving most of these} to do to keep myself on track:
1. Get to bed a decent time, which is usually around 10:30 or 11 for me. I really need at least 7 hours of sleep. I don’t always make it, but I learned very early on in this, that I was WAY to old {There is a reason why we go to college young, ha} and had entirely too much on my shoulders to live on 3 or 4 hours of sleep.
2. Wake up early, before the kids are up, and have a little “me” time. This is a new one for me, but I learned its OH SO WONDERFUL. For me, this means get up at 6 or 6:30 AM. I make myself a chai latte, eat breakfast, pray, read my Bible, run on the treadmill, shower, dress. I find if I do this before the kids get up I am a happier person and much more prepared to take on the day.
3. Have a reliable sitter. I am sure many people will disagree with me about having a sitter watch my kids during the day. In my defense, the kids are only with them {I use two sisters from a very good family in my church} from 9-2 Mon-Thurs {they take their naps at home} when not in school, Mon and Wed when they are in school and if they need me I am right there as they live just a few minutes away. They are WONDERFUL and the kids love them and their house. Can’t afford a sitter? Find someone to barter with, maybe trade taking care of someone elses kids, so you can work. One of the most helpful things I ever did was find someone who could help me with the kids so I could focus on work and then focus on THEM when they are home. I would NEVER be able to run a business if my kids were running circles around me all day, things just don’t get done, unfortunately.
4. Get good help. This includes a book keeper, an assistant, whatever you need to run your business. This has SAVED me!! It costs me some money and often they get paid before I do, but I have learned that if I am spread thin, I will never be able to run this business at all, so I might as well spend the money to get myself where I need to be to make some money. 
5. Eat healthy and exercise. I am learning this a big one for me. I try to keep sugar, fast food, anything processed really, to a minimum. I have found that if I am sluggish because of my food intake, then I might as well forget business success.
6. Get organized. ”A clean ship is a happy ship”… When I was little, my dad had that saying hot pressed on a wood plaque and it hung over our pier at our Tahoe house. I used to think it was just a silly saying and would roll my eyes every time my dad would use it on me {usually in reference to my out of control room, ha}, but I have recently learned that there is most definitely something to it. I cannot think if my factory is a mess. I’ve found that just putting things away and running the vaccum at night can make my brain stay focused. Also, cleaning the kitchen and family room EVERY NIGHT makes such a huge difference for me. It just feels so good to get up to clean plate.
7. Family first, then business, then friends and life. I think this one is the hardest to adjust to when owning your own business. Often when you work for someone, you can put friends and life before work. Growing up, I wondered why my dad never had many friends…well, its because he worked for himself {and the fact that he is an introvert played into that as well I’m sure, ha}. He didn’t have much time. I find that my friends are often those who either work for me or in a similar field as me. Some of my closest friends have become women, especially moms, who are working for themselves. We have something in common and seem to understand each other when we can’t commit to things or not be available to hang out as often as other moms can. I’m sure working moms of any field can relate to this one as well.
8. Don’t forget your husband. I have a tendency to work every second I get. This is not good when you have a husband who needs you. I have to remind myself that even though he is self-sufficent and doesn’t need my help to clean, dress and feed himself, he still needs me as a helpmate. {Here is where I insert that I have one of the most supportive and loving husbands on the planet! So thankful for him!!}
9. Get out of the house at least once during the day. Amazing how a trip to Starbucks or a stroll around the Target aisle can force me remember that I live in the real world. There have been several times where I have been stuck in the house for 48 hours straight. Not cool. You start to feel like you are in solitary confinement.
10. When the day is done, it’s done. Be ok if not everything gets finished. This one kills me. Really. I am a task oriented person and I can’t focus if I have projects hanging over my head. My email inbox HAUNTS me. It so does. Pending orders I LOATHE. I think you get the point. But I have learned to say, “it can wait”. When I see my little precious babies crying out for my attention, I realize NOTHING is as important as them. So I have learned to say, “I’m sorry, I will have to help you tomorrow” and ignore the fear that someone will give me bad feedback, or send me a nasty email or tell me that I’m a horrible business owner. The fact that I stopped to help my kids makes me feel like the best mom on the planet and thats all I care about.
Because after a while, if I’m ignoring them…this is what I get:
This is what I get when I ignore my babies. Oh boy.
11. {Right I realize I said 10, but I just can’t leave this out} PRAY, LOVE, LAUGH. These three things get me through life. This business is in God’s hands, and if He desires me to do something else, I will. In the meantime, I will just live life to the fullest, laugh as often as I can and love until it hurts. It makes life worthwhile, you know?
So there it is, my very LONG unhelpful insightful advice. Ha. And with that… I’m curious, how do you balance business and family? I would LOVE for you to share your thoughts, if you have some. It would really help me as a business owner and working mom to hear how you stay balanced…and maybe it would help someone else too! And thank you for listening. We will resume regular programing with DIY Friday. ha.
Big hugs friends! xoxo
