I Am Ashamed…

I am ASHAMED to say that last night I was so desperate for a sugar fix that when I saw Jake’s chewable gummy bear vitamins, my eyes glazed over, for one second I thought they were the real thing and was tempted to eat the entire jar.
I am ASHAMED  to say that I left Evy’s antibiotics out of the refrigerator for an entire night. You know, the Amoxicillin, the kind you have to keep refrigerated? Well, I’m very embarrased to report that after her eve dose on Thursday I forgot to put it back and had to call the dr to get an brand new bottle.
I am ASHAMED to say that my curtains in my bedroom are falling off the rod, and instead of taking the five minutes it would require to fix them, I just keep pulling them tighter shut and tucking them in so no one can see them.
I am ASHAMED to say that the last couple of weeks my family has been eating more mac n cheese than they have eaten in their entire life.
I am ASHAMED to say that my husband has been sick with the same cold for four weeks and I have lost complete sympathy for him. When he coughs {more like gags} I don’t even notice anymore and I feel like poop when he asks if I care if he is dying. I felt especially bad when I watched him cough so hard last night that he evidently popped a rib out of place, and I just kept typing away on the computer {true story}. I guess my compassion level has severely shrunk since giving birth to Evy practically naturally.
I am ASHAMED to say that I recieved a letter from a collection agency for -get this- $38.19. Apparently this once overly cautious, on top if it bookeeper overlooked that particular bill and now I am being harrassed. Amazing.
Maybe its me, but it seems as I get older {and the more kids I have, ha!}, I find myself changing. Some of it is good, some is bad, and some of it doesn’t matter either way, but the areas I used to be stressed out about- those things don’t seem to matter anymore. And its those things I didn’t care all that much about are becoming more important.
I talked a little about the seasons of life in this post. For some reason I can’t stop thinking about it. But I also seem to be thinking more about myself, and who I am today and who I want to become in the future. I’m remembering that person, who was a bit “perfect” and is now so not. I think about the little box of a life that I created for myself {and worked so hard to live in}when I was single, newly married, in my twenties, no kids, etc., and I wonder where that person went.
But you know, despite the fact that I do a lot of things that I previously would have been embarrassed about, I actually think I am a better person. I think I am REAL. I mean let’s be honest, after talking to many different moms, I find that I live like the majority of young mothers who have kids running wild through the house all day. We are all struggling to find our place, our niche. We are all trying to make ends meet, because whether we stay home or not, money tends to be tight from time to time. We all struggle. We all have to come to grips with the fact that WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL.
So God, I hope you have fun changing me. I am ok with it, Lord. I want to be who YOU want me to be. And if you have to mold me a little differently than before, or humble me a couple times by making my life “not perfect”….it just fine by me. I know ultimately whatever you have for me will be right and PERFECT, but it won’t be done by my hands, it will be done by the most perfect hands, YOURS.
“…can I not do to you as this potter has done to his clay? As the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand.” Jeremiah 18:6
And of course, since I HAVE to have pictures, ha!….
While I was writing this post, I kept thinking about the “young Amy”. The one who worked so hard to be perfect. These pictures of me on our honeymoon to Disneyworld kept coming to my mind. Mainly because I was so excited to ride the Buzz Lightyear ride, was posing in front of that silly giant troll and wearing that little viking hat… things that previously, before my marriage, I would not have taken time to do or even care that much about. I see now that way back then, God was changing me…. showing me that life is about enjoying the journey, not about how perfect that journey is. :)
But really, God, could I be skinny like that again? Pretty please?!? UGH.


My little hoodie business has a name….and a FAB new logo, thanks to my very handsome, ever talented, incredible husband! :)
So why Evy’s Tree?
Above is a picture of Evy’s room, which was once Jake’s, hence the blue walls. :) About a month before Evy arrived, we moved Jake into his “big boy” room – our old office. Since Brandon went to a lot of trouble to perfectly {he’s a perfectionist} paint the walls in the nursery blue, we decided to keep it, but we wanted to make it girly. After much thought, Brandon came up with the idea of painting a tree on the wall behind Evy’s crib, and at the last minute put an owl on the branches to match the owls on her pillows. We then added the Pottery Barn Kids paper butterflies…didn’t it turn out adorable?
Well, Jake had a blast watching the whole transformation, especially the part when Brandon was painting the tree. So way back in the beginning of this whole hoodie madness, the night I sewed my very first one - the owl hoodie that has come to be called “the Hoot”- Jake leaned over, saw the owl and asked me….”Is that Evy’s tree, Mommy?”
Brandon and I looked at each other and commented that if we ever needed a good name for something, Evy’s Tree would be a great one. Little did we know that a couple of months later I would be opening an etsy shop and needed a name….Evy’s Tree just seemed like the obvious choice. Apparently God knew what was to come…big surprise huh? :)
I have two favors to ask of you, my friends:
Visit my shop
You can visit my etsy shop by clicking here or by visiting etsy.com and searching sellers and typing in evystree {all one word, no apostrophe}. Please hang in there with me, as my shop is not officially open yet and in vacation mode as I am still tweaking some things. I’m hoping to have everything up and running by sometime in March. I would really love it if you added my shop as a favorite and was asked to be notified when it opened! :)
Pray for me
This is my biggest need. I believe firmly in the power of prayer and that “the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord…” {Ps 37:23}. I really want God’s hand to be on my life and this little endeavor. Please pray that I follow HIS will, not mine, and that He guides my every step. At any point I am willing to stop or proceed. I want what He wants and I desire to be in tune with His heartbeat. Your prayers for wisdom on my behalf would be greatly appreciated.
Oh yes, I have had many people ask me how to pronounce “Evy”. Evy is short for Evelyn and the “E” has a short vowel sound, as in the ”E” in egg. Evy is not to be confused with Evie, which has a long vowel sound like Eve, although we have many friends who call Evy “Evie” which is fine by us. :)   
Thank you everyone for your love and support. We have the best friends ever. I hope you are all well and had a wonderful and blessed weekend!

Please Don’t Leave Me…

** To my dear friends…this is a very long post filled with lots of details, intended for my kids. Please feel free to read it, but I apologize in advance for its length and it will not offend me at all if you don’t have the time to read this one. :) xoxox
Dear Kids,
When I was little, my Dad, your Gramps, worked very, very hard. He worked for himself, had an office in our home and kept extremely busy. We hardly ever saw him. People would ask us what our dad did for a living and we wouldn’t know what to say. He did pretty much everything, we thought! He flew a plane, built houses, owned pizza parlors and mobile home parks….what do you call such a man? After a while, we learned to call him a “Developer” because, as we realized when we got into our teens, that everything our dad developed did very well, so it seemed a fitting name. :)
We were a blessed family. We had beautiful homes to live in, drove nice cars, flew in Gramp’s Cessna, and wore lovely clothes. But we never really spent any time with our Dad. During the school year, Dad would work away in his office from 5 AM until dinner and then would turn in early. During the summer months, Dad would fly us up to Tahoe for the summer and then commute back to the Bay Area, spending most of the week tending to his businesses and then the weekends up at the Lake. Those weekends were wonderful times, spent on the boat, sking, picnicing and being together. Those weekends definitely made up for the time without my Dad during the week.
As I turned into a pre-teen, I started to realize how little my Dad and I saw eachother. I think he realized it too, because he began taking me on little “dates” to the ice cream shop, out to a movie or dinner. I enjoyed those times. I was a young girl who was desperately needing male attention and, as most young girls do, I needed it from my Dad. I have some very fond memories our our outings together.
As I grew into a teenager and then eventually a college student, I think my Dad didn’t really know what to think of me. I had changed some, had friends I don’t think he thought were that great and I had decided to become a teacher- a job that I think he highly respected but didn’t think was very fitting finacially for me {which he -about the financial part- was SOO right, ha!}. I think at that point in time, we had the farthest distance between us. I really rarely talked to him and I don’t really know if he knew how to talk to me, so we pretty much conversed only when needed.
My parents got married later in life. My dad was 40, my mom 30. It was his second marriage {which gave me two very wonderful older siblings!!}, and was in the height of his career years. He was an only child raised by two very hard working Depression-era, German parents and he was taught that you worked more than you played, you played less than you slept and you slept very little. I think, if I had to give the philosophy a name, I would call it “The Wollmer Philosophy”, for this is what he instilled inside all four of the Wollmer kids. We are all extremely hard workers, a very strong, determined, type-A bunch.
So here I am today, with my own kids. I am 33 years old, married to a wonderful man, have a small home, stay home with my kids, but still work very, very hard. I am proud to say that my dad and I have a wonderful relationship. I love him very much. Despite the fact he worked a lot when I was young, I can say he meant very well by it. His generation was taught that if you loved your family, you provided for them. Judged by his ability to provide, I can say that he loved his family very, very much. As an adult, my Dad is very important to me, and I call him or go visit him often. Today I would say that we have a loving relationship and you kids are blessed to know him and have him as your Gramps.
But, I can’t remember very many intimate, one on one times from my childhood, that I would crawl into bed with him and cuddle, or have him tuck me in, or read a story. Don’t get me wrong, there were a few times, but not very many. The whole cuddling thing wasn’t really his style, first of all, but mainly everytime he would try, he would start to fall asleep or try to keep himself awake by chewing his tongue and rubbing his head. His stories would get all jumbled up and he would tell the same part over and over. Ha! Those are good memories! :)
Mumsy did most of the evening time rituals. God bless your Mumsy! :) I would cherish those times with my mom. She would read to me, pray with me, cuddle me, sing to me, laugh with me. I think I loved those evening moments more than I did any other time in the day. Even when I lived at home, right out of college, working as a elementary substitute teacher, I would ask my mom if she would, “kiss me goodnight”. It was always a special time for me.
Sorry kids, for the little trip down memory lane, but a couple nights ago something happened that has made me think about my childhood, The Wollmer Philosophy, and the importance of being tucked in. You see, as of this week, it has been one month since I have launched my little hoodie business. I have sewed SEVENTY FIVE hoodies in less than four weeks. Seriously, I wonder where my brain has gone. I have sold almost half of them. I did all this during your nap times and after you went to bed at night. The Wollmer Philosophy has kicked in full swing and I have done very well by using it.
I have never been a huge night owl, but somehow I have managed to function off of very little sleep, sewing until about 3 AM and then getting up with you kids as soon as one of you makes your morning peep. :) My bedtime routine with you has been rushed…quick bath, brush teeth, pray, kiss, lights out. Then I run over to my sewing machine and sew away until my eyes can barely focus. Its been an interesting ride. One that has come on suddenly and has met a huge financial need that our famliy has had for several months now. I feel that God has brought this little venture into lives. It seems to be just the right timing.
But this week, I seem to have hit a wall. You see, I had plans to start my etsy shop this week. I have been so excited. I worked extremely hard to build up a little inventory, had your Dad help me with a logo, worded the listings “just so” and organized a little photo shoot to show off the hoodies well. I conned your Dad into shooting the pictures, despite the fact that he has a very full schedule himself, and has been sick with a horrible cold for almost three weeks now. We took the pictures, and then I sent them off to Uncle David to be edited.
Here is where we ran into trouble. On Tuesday, Uncle David called me and talked to me about the pictures. We discussed my vision for them and he in turn said five words that really, really frustrated me{sorry David, not your fault AT ALL! ha}… “You might want to reshoot.” ACK! Really?!? After all that trouble? And here I was wanting to start my store up ASAP, and how was I going to find time to get Brandon to reshoot plus get all my models together? I hung up the phone and then started sewing, only to have my sewing machine start making some funny noises. I ran over to my Viking lady and told her about it. She issued some further distressing news… “You might not have the right machine for what you are doing.” WHAT?!? The machine I would need would be a couple hundred dollar upgrade, not exactly pocket change.
I left the sewing machine store depressed. It was late, I had been working on this for weeks, I was tired, hadn’t slept much and my little family was at home eating frozen pizza for the upteenth time this month. On my way home, I stopped at my friend Alisha’s house to pick some things up. I sat down on her couch and blurted out all my frustrations. She listened quietly, nodded and then said, “You might want to slow down.”
What?!? Slow down? Is that in “The Wollmer Philosophy” ?!?
She went on to remind me that way back in the beginning of all this {a mere 4 weeks ago!} I had agreed to go to a Ladies Conference in Sacramento, which was being held in a short 3 weeks from now, and sell my hoodies. If I started my etsy store, was I going to be up to sewing like mad to build up some inventory for the conference? What was that going to do to my family? Was my laundry going to stay in a giant pile for all those weeks, my kids eating frozen, unhealthy food {so NOT me} and my husband forgetting what I look like? Was I ok with that?
I realized at that moment, that I was not. I had five hoodies pinned and ready to go for me to do later that night, but, I have already sold enough to keep me floating for a while. Alisha was right, I needed to slow down.
So I drove home and walked in the door. Your wonderful, loving, incredible Dad {you have the best one kids, don’t let anyone ever tell you different!} had gotten you both ready for bed, gave you your baths and was reading to you. Evy, I kissed you goodnight and then walked into your room, Jake. You were sitting on the bed waiting for me. I climbed into bed with you and held you. We prayed, we laughed and I even read you a couple of stories. Then I kissed you and started to climb out of bed. And then you said it,
“Mommy, please don’t leave me. Lay down with me, Mommy.”
It crushed my heart. With tears running down my cheeks, I remember how important my night time routine was to me as a child, and I realized that yours had been severely ignored. I climbed back into bed with you and held you. I laid with you until long after you fell asleep. I watched you breathe and smoothed your hair away from your face. I thought about some friends of ours, who have a 3 year old girl -just your age-who at this moment is fighting cancer and being treated with chemo. I thanked God for a healthy baby and I silently scolded myself for letting this last month slip away from me. I determined  in my mind I would not do that again.
Kids, I will always battle the “Wollmer Philosophy”. Since it is in your genes, you might too someday. It’s not that its a bad philosophy, it just needs to be met with balance. I am proud to be a Wollmer. I am proud to be, what your Dad calls, “a machine”. Ha! :) I don’t mind one bit that I am a hard worker. But I don’t ever want to forget that I am your mommy. And that your Daddy works very hard and we have sacraficed a lot for me to stay home and be with you when he can’t.
You are my pride and joy. You are everything to me. I hope that my little hoodie business does well, so that we can take occasional trips, have some extra clothes, or – who am I kidding- pay the PG&E bill. ha! But I don’t ever want it to take the place of the times when I lay down with you at night, pray with you, read with you, cuddle with you. I want you to have those memories.
So after much prayer, and realizing that the pictures and inventory needed some more time, I decided to postpone the opening of my etsy shop until next month sometime. I also decided that this weekend, starting Friday, I would go on a little media fast. Our family will spend as much time as possible together, laughing, praying together, reading, eating home cooked meals. I want to enjoy my babies for a while.
Kids, I’m sorry. I hope you can overlook the messy house, the stressed out mom and the yucky food. And to my wonderful, ever patient, God-given husband… I hope you still love me. I hope you can forgive how cranky I have been and I hope that we can spend some quality time together this weekend. I love you very much. God gave me a treasure when he gave me you.
I love you all so very much,
My precious babies, early in the morning a couple mornings back. Jake, you set up a tea party for Evy in her room and taught her how to use a fork and knife, verbally walking her through the whole thing. It was so darling. Nevermind that she fell off the chair right after the last pic. :) I don’t ever want to miss moments like this one.

Photos, Pampers, Paperwork and Pacis

Well, I have learned several things about myself over the last couple weeks.
There are things that I CANNOT do.
Don’t get me wrong. I am trying really, really hard to do them but I tend to be a perfectionist. Sometimes this a good thing, but sometimes its a bad thing. In these areas its a bad thing. I can’t settle for average.
Despite the fact that I am perfectionist, I am not giving up on the trying bit. I KNOW I will someday conquer them. I will, I will….
With some help from others!
I am calling these things that I am unsuccesful at the “Three P’s” and here they are:
1) Photos
In the effort to start up my little hoodie/etsy shop I have come to realize that I am no pro at photography. In fact I pretty much stink. Well, I take that back I’m really good at taking pictures like this one…
and this one…
{more on these photos in a sec}
But when it comes to reallly professional looking pictures, I just don’t have the goods. Even after borrowing a high-powered camera. So in my earnest pursuit of those fabulous pictures, my husband had mercy on me and shot the photos {which turned out GREAT}…and then ATTEMPTED to show me how to edit them. Well, our little editting tutorial turned into a yelling match {yes, I’m not ashamed to say that I get a tad bit frustrated with my husband *AT TIMES* ha!}. He thought they looked best one way, I was wanted a different look, etc.
So in tears I emailed my brother-in-law David. He’s TRAINED. That’s really all I have to say, but if you doubt me, you can see some of his work here.
Anyway, he took pity on me and said he would help, so Brandon zipped them up in a winzip folder and I uploaded them all onto usendit.com to place in someone’s else’s hands who is much more qualified than I.
Whew…that feels good to get off my chest! ha.
So my shop opening is pending depending how long those pictures take to edit…that’s the moral of the story, haha. I will keep you all posted, but I’m hoping before Thursday!!
2) Pampers
I am a self professed diaper snob. Sorry, but its true. I use only Pampers diapers. This does not roll over to pull ups or swim diapers, however, those I use Huggies and Huggies only. But I refuse to use any other diaper than Pampers. Heres why…
They smell wonderful
They fit my babies to the “T”
Babies-r-us always has great coupons and I get a free box after I buy 10
Huggies diapers gave Jake a bloody rash when he was newborn
That last one, in case you hadn’t guessed, pretty much sold me on pampers. And I don’t do generic. I do generic everything else, but not diapers. I will spare the details as to why I don’t in this post, maybe someother day.
I put Pampers down as one of my “loser areas” tonight because if you look closely at one of those adorable pictures of Jake doing backflips off the couch {which was adorable only AFTER it happened, not during} you will see a lovely Pampers on him.
Nope. He has ABSOLUTELY no interest. Candy does nothing, neither does a star chart, a timer/every 20 min schedule, a treasure chest, a phone call to Daddy or Mumsy or Grandma…nothing works. Nada. Don’t get me wrong. He does go on the potty at times. And we have had many successes. He just would rather wear the pamper and he can’t seem to tell me when he has to go pee, only poo.

My Dr. says this is all normal and that his boys weren’t potty trained until 3 1/2. That made me feel better. That means I six months to get that little rear in gear…literally! ha.

Has anyone else ever been in the same boat?
3) Paperwork
I used to be a pro at bill paying and all that it entails. I think mentioned once before that I come from a long line of financial geniuses. I am not one of them, but I work very hard to be good with my money.
Well, since I have had kids, I have been a loser at paperwork. I have piles of it everywhere and I can never find ANYTHING.
So my dear friend Michelle, who is a brilliant CPA, came over today and helped me organize all my hoodie paperwork.
I CAN BREATHE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everything is in order and I feel so much better. Seriously, I feel like a ton of weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Now if I can only get her to come over and orgainize all our personal finances! ha!
Michelle….working away!
So now that I have told you the “Three P’s” that I am a huge loser at, I have one P that I am PROUD to say I am a winner at!!!
{That’s short for pacifer for you non-parents}
That’s right, two weeks ago today, we took the paci away from Jake and we have been paci free for 14 days! Can you believe it?!? Honestly, if you knew how addicted Jake was to the paci you would be jumping up and down with excitement at your desk, or wherever it is you are reading this.
So my friends, I have this to say:
Thank God I am good at one “P”. If you ever need advice on paci issues, please feel free to contact me. If you need advice for the other “Three P’s”, please contact someone else. If you are that someone else, please make yourself known so we can come and sit at your feet, ask for advice and call you our sensei.
Thank you.